Numbers on the scale DO scare me.

I went to the doctor's office once for a general check up. No specific health related reason Why I was there. My doctor was a weight loss Natzi - in a good way. She was very adamant about everyone being in a healthy weight range. I trusted her because she was a young Black woman and didn't force 135lbs on me but knew that at 301.1lbs, I needed to shed some of this excess. 

I knew "the talk" was coming when she walked into the exam room. I'd had it a hundred times before with her. But with the number 301.1 burned into my mind, I felt like she was coming to bring me news of a fatal illness. As soon as she walked into the room, I broke down and cried. I felt crazy because the woman hadn't even said anything to me yet. She barely looked me in my eyes when I began to cry. 

That was my moment. A turning point for me.  

Those of you who know me, or follow me on Instagram at the least, know that two years ago, I lost 45 lbs. It was the most weight I've ever lost. I'd given up meat, I worked out five times a week and my diet was on point! But, here I am two years later, at the back door of the 300 club. Where I said I'd never be again. Where disease and health conditions stare me in the face and heart attacks threaten me at night. My clothes don't fit anymore and I am simply uncomfortable in my body.  

So, you can imagine my disappointment after a whole week of eating better and working out heavy, I step on the scale and see +2 lbs. Before you give me the "but muscle is heavier than fat" speech or the "but you should see how your clothes fit" speech, consider where we are. I currently weigh 295.2 lbs. Again, diseases linger at this weight. Those 2 lbs mean everything to me. They are literally the difference between life and death. 

So, yes, the scale does scare me. I try my hardest not to be discouraged. But I won't act like the numbers on that scale don't mean something to me. Because they do. They represent the likelihood that I'll carry my babies full term in a healthy pregnancy. They represent the likelihood that I'll live to see my grandchildren grow up and be able to actually play with them. They represent some pretty heavy stuff for me. So please, don't dismiss my feelings about them by telling me that muscle weighs more than fat. I know my own body and I know damn well it isn't muscle that's adding those two pounds back to my life. 

Until next week's weigh-in.  

TGwBH

How to Shop Asos: 5 Tips Fat Girls Need to Know

Asos is one of my favorite places to shop online. In fact, it's where I do most of my shopping for cute basics and chic statement pieces. I only learned of Asos a few years ago when a co-worker hipped me to it. I only wish that someone would have given me tips on how to shop at this amazing online store. So, I want to share with you some things that I've learned about Asos Curve over the years.

1. Size Down. 

A dress I got a few years back on Asos. It is one of my favorites!  

It is my belief that Europeans believe that fat people in America are REALLY fat. As a result, their sizing is a bit off sometimes. I ALWAYS size down. Right now, I am between a 22 and a 24 US sizes but I have never ordered a size larger than a 20 from Asos. Well, I have but I learned my lesson rather quickly. It is best practice to take a look at the sizing guide and the measurements. 

2. Trial and Error.

Unfortunately, we can't always get the sizing right or we may over/underestimate our size. That's okay. Asos is trial and error and after a few swaps of shirts, dresses and jeans/pants, you'll get it. I promise.

This leather jacket is perfect. I wear it all through the fall season. It was pricey but worth the buy.  

Speaking of swapping - Asos does not have an exchange policy. Only a return. Therefore, if you're unsure of a size - and can afford to - it would be in your best interest to purchase more than one size and return what doesn't work. The return process is SUPER easy. Every order comes with a return form and label. You have 28 days to return something. Stick it in a box/bag and ship it back. I think the whole process took a little over a week for me. Obviously, if you can't afford to have funds tied up, this might not be the best option for you. You can read the entire return policy here.

3. Catch a Sale.

I don't think I can say this enough. Asos is expensive (for good reason, though). It is always best to catch a good sale. And they ALWAYS have good sales. Sometimes, you can catch a 70% off sale and you'll find things as cheap as $10-15. In most cases, they're cute basics are pretty cheap. Anything high-fashion is probably going to cost you closer to $100+.

4. The Rivington jeggings are phenomenal.

A pair of Rivington's I got recently. They are AMAZING.

I am a chunky girl. Ya'll know. These thighs are dimple-y and huge. These hips don't lie. So shopping for denim is always a chore for me. I typically stick to Torrid for all of my denim needs, but honestly, Torrid is way too expensive for me when I just need a pair of comfy jeans. So, I decided to try out the Rivington jeggings at Asos. 

Ya'll. 

They are phenomenal. They're soft, stretchy, and CAH-YUTE! They don't stretch out too much as the day goes on. They are a perfect. I think that every plus size woman with big ole hips, thighs, and butts should have at least two pair in her wardrobe. They're typically pretty inexpensive too. I just got a pair for about $40. 

5. Plan ahead.

While Asos is pretty good about their standard shipping (which is free when you spend over $40), I always recommend giving yourself some wiggle room. If you need a dress for a Friday night, it's probably best to order it at least a week and a half in advance. Asos does have a history of "forgetting" to dispatch items. So, you don't want to be caught with your pants down (lol) waiting on them. 

I hope these things are helpful! I get a lot of questions about Asos when I first introduce it to folks. They are a great options when you know how to shop there. So, head on over and get you some pieces! Let me know how it goes!

TGwBH

Dear Fashion Industry...

My intention was to head to Target and find reasonably-priced workout clothes. I was planning to leave with a few pair of performance leggings, a few tops, a couple of sports bras and maybe a pack of socks (because for some reason mine always disappear after one wear). And I was planning to come home and blog about all the awesome stuff that I got.

Well...

$104 later, I leave with two pair of performance leggings, two sports bras (that I'm hoping ACTUALLY provide support) and two, 3-pair packs of socks. I sifted through a ton of XS, S and M to find an XXL in the pants. I'll admit, this is always a gamble for me when I go to Target. I am pretty bottom heavy - so its hit or miss. I ended up leaving with these and something very similar to these. I got home to try them on and I JUST made it. 

Now, I'm no newbie to working out and definitely not to buying work out clothes. In the past, I've purchased some awesome performance leggings from Walmart. Their XXL is perfect for the hippy, jiggly girls like me. However, they only come in black or gray (and honestly the gray isn't too flattering for us women with dimple thighs). The pickings are slim.

If you are fortunate enough to be able to afford (or you're okay with spending money on) top of the line workout clothes, you can check out Macy's, Lane Bryant, LuLu Lemon etc. But for those of you who choose to live on the lower end - like me - its HARD to find plus size workout clothes that are reasonably priced. I'd be remiss not to mention Old Navy's awesome line. Unfortunately, it is only available online.

This isn't news to me. In fact, in a conversation that I had with my best friend - who happens to be into power lifting and is also MUCH smaller than I am - she told me about how AWESOME her new leggings from Forever21 were. She loves the mesh side look. I was excited because I figured Forever21 HAD to have them in a plus size version as well. Well - I was wrong. Very wrong. What I learned is, Forever21 doesn't even have activewear for plus size women. Apparently, fat girls don't work out but "standard" size women do. 

Sigh...

Unfortunately, this is common. Doesn't surprise me. There has been this hole in the plus size fashion industry for a while now. My beef isn't that plus size workout clothes don't exist. My beef is that plus size workout clothes aren't as accessible to normal (impatient) people like me who would like to just head to the store down the street, pick up a few quality sports bras and walk out knowing that I can still afford groceries for the week. Why do I have to ONLY purchase my workout clothes online? Why do I have to pay TWICE as much for workout pants as my smaller sisters? Yea, you pay a little extra to make my oversized (*insert side eye emoji*) workout clothes, but I'm sure its not so much that the price should be doubled. 

Dear Fashion Industry,

All fat girls aren't self-conscious! All fat girls don't feel uncomfortable asking "do you all have plus size?" All fat girls don't sit around eating donuts and watching The Food Network (I mean, I do sometimes...but I go to the gym most of the time lol). We are people who live normal lives just like everyone else. We shouldn't have to go broke or wait days for something in the mail simply because we carry a little extra meat on our bones. Its ridiculous that in 2015, we STILL have stores that discriminate against fat girls. And those standard size stores who do have plus size are limited or only offered on line. Get it together, Fashion Industry. We are tired of your bullsh*t.

Signed,

A fat girl who works out.

TGwBH